


Learning Experience

by resqueln



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: First Time, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 01:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2673902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resqueln/pseuds/resqueln
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the mcsheplet's prompt 'jealousy'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning Experience

Something had changed since they’d returned to the Pegasus galaxy. Sheppard was being, for want of a better word, nice. No joking put downs, no banter. It was freaky.

That morning John had saved him the last of the bacon. Now it was evening, and he was almost relieved to find the kitchen out of meatloaf and no extra tray sat at Sheppard’s elbow. They were laughing, John’s ridiculous bray audible across the mess as Rodney carried his tray of forlorn looking vegetables over. 

“Hey,” John said warmly, nudging the chair next to Teyla out with his foot so Rodney could sit down. “Hey Teyla, tell Rodney what happened to Sgt. Yates.”

Teyla obliged with a small, wicked smile, and started describing Sgt Yates’ run in with – Rodney didn’t catch what. It was hard to concentrate when he could see Sheppard watching him out of the corner of his eye.

At first he’d though it was to do with the messy end of his relationship with Jennifer. 

“Ah, I know what’s going on.” Rodney had said, during one team lunch where both John and Teyla had given him their pudding cups. “Well you can all stop cossetting me. I’m fine,” he said and had been surprised to find it was true. 

But if anything, John had just got nicer. It was weird. 

He liked to think he’d learned a thing or two from the mess with Jennifer. So he bit back on the questions – very important questions! - as to what the hell was going on with Sheppard and instead went looking for answers.

-*-*

Rodney wasn’t sick, and even if he had been, he would have known before John. Wouldn’t he? He had Carson do a full medical, just in case.

-*-*

Sheppard wasn’t sick. In fact, he looked as he always had – the picture of health. It was disgusting, really, that someone should look as healthy as Sheppard did every day.

-*-*

Carson refused to check Sheppard’s DNA for telomere changes, so Rodney did it himself. He stole John’s glass at dinner and then snuck into the infirmary later that night. The results were normal, so precluding advances in technology somewhere amongst their enemies, John wasn’t a brainwashed clone.

-*-*

In a moment of extreme paranoia, Rodney had checked for energy readings – maybe he’d transported himself to an alternative universe? 

-*-*

The answer hit him when he was towelling down after a bath. Guilt.

Oh my god that was it. The little gestures, the intense looks. John was feeling guilty. Why though? The timing couldn’t be coincidence, it had to be something to do with the end of his relationship with Jennifer. Unless – weird thought here, but what if John had been secretly pleased that Rodney’s relationship had failed? Thinking back, he’d been acting weird even before they’d left Pegasus to return to Earth. Snide comments and dark looks that, now Rodney thought of it, seemed a lot like jealousy. 

Rodney sat down heavily on the edge of his bed.

Oh God. Sheppard had been jealous of his relationship with Jennifer. That could only mean one thing. John was in love with Jennifer. Had apparently been in love with Jennifer for months. Oh god, it explained so much. 

And now Rodney was no longer in the way, John was feeling guilty because he was going to make a move himself. Oh God, why hadn’t he seen it before?  
Would Jennifer say yes? He had no idea. Sheppard didn’t seem like her type, but surely Sheppard was everyone’s type. He was annoyingly attractive, and ready to run off into danger at a moment’s notice, and smarter than the average heroic, good looking flyboy. Rodney couldn’t imagine a person alive who would turn John down. And even if she took some wooing, well, John was good at that.

He could see it plain as day, John and Jennifer. The way John would tilt her chin gently and kiss her just the way she liked it. The way Jennifer would touch her hand to John’s arm when they flirted, the way that priestess on PX1-1789 had. The way John would smile at her, one of those rare smiles that Rodney had only seen a handful of times, and only once aimed at him.

He felt sicker with each image, but his mind couldn’t seem to stop playing the slideshow in his mind’s eye. 

Right. Well. There was only one cure for that, and that was distraction. Rodney picked himself up and headed for the labs.

-*-*

He blinked awake when someone reached over and turned off his monitor. 

“Rodney, it is 4am,” Zelenka said quietly.

Before he could protest, a yawn swallows his rant. Zelenka just crosses his arms, raising an eyebrow pointedly. 

“Alright, alright,” Rodney said. 

-*-*

Zelenka frowned at him when he stayed past dinner time the next night. Rodney ignored him and everyone else, right up until John showed up to usher him out of the lab. 

“What now?” Rodney complained as Sheppard all but strong armed him out of the door. He caught a glimpse of Radek’s triumphant grin over John’s shoulder. _Oh that miserable Czech snitch._

“Come on, Rodney, it won’t hurt for you to spend a little time outdoors for once,” John said as he hustled Rodney along the corridor, hand curled around Rodney’s elbow.

“Actually I have very important work to be doing.”

“Like what? There’s no emergency, the city’s not on fire.”

“Everything! Everything I do is important!” Rodney said, maybe sounding a little hysterical even to himself.

Sheppard stopped and put his hands on his hips. “I already asked Teyla and Ronon to grab dinner and meet us there,” he said.

Huh. He was pretty hungry, and hey, Sheppard wasn’t acting weirdly nice for the first time in weeks. 

“Dinner?” he asked and his stomach rumbled at the thought of food. 

Sheppard smirked, obviously reading Rodney’s capitulation, the miserable blackmailing bastard. 

“Fine. But only for an hour,” Rodney said, and rolled his eyes, mostly for show.

Although he’d never admit it, it was nice to be out on the pier with his team. It was early evening, the light not quite gone yet and Teyla had brought Torren with her, apparently to give Kanaan some much needed rest.

There were cold meats, and cheese, and bread, and some of the fruit that AR3 had brought back from the planet with the pink trees that Rodney loved. Afterwards they all settled onto the edge of the pier, legs dangling. 

Torren was fussing a little in Teyla’s arms, little legs and arms waving. 

“I think that I will take a walk, to see if I can’t calm him,” she said with a smile. 

Ronon stood in one smooth move. “I’ll join you,” he said and together the two of them wandered off along the pier.

“Have fun,” John called after them, leaning back against his elbows and generally looking content with the world. 

“There any beer?” Rodney asked hopefully.

“Thought you wanted to get back to the lab?” John asked slyly, mocking – mocking, _thank god_.

“Well. One evening won’t hurt,” Rodney said and there was one of John's rare real grins, aimed straight at him. 

Reaching over, John rummaged in one of the boxes and pulled two bottles free and Rodney’s heart sank. It wasn’t the usual weak excuse for beer John liked to drink, but one of the stronger beers Rodney preferred. He tried not to show his dismay as John passed him the bottle. 

“Alright, this has to stop,” Rodney blurted.

“Huh?” John asked, beer half way to this mouth.

“Oh please, you know exactly what I’m talking about. The lack of mocking, the little touches, this!” Rodney swung his bottle in front of John’s face. “You hate this stuff!” John grabbed it out of his fingers and put it down, frowning.

“What are you talking about, McKay?”

“You being nice to me!”

“Rodney, are you really complaining because I’m being too nice to you?” John asked, eyebrow raising.

“It’s weird, okay? And anyway, you’re conveniently leaving out why!“

“Rodney- “ John started, long suffering.

“You didn’t like me dating Jennifer. You were jealous! And now we’ve split up, you’re going to make a move,” Rodney declared triumphantly, stabbing a finger towards John. 

It was a direct hit. All of Rodney’s hypotheses had been untested until that moment. Now he had incontrovertible evidence: John’s gaze snapped to his and he looked wrecked in a way that Rodney only vaguely remembered seeing once before – here on this same pier when Rodney had tried to say goodbye. Rodney swallowed.

“It’s okay,” he said hastily. “I don’t mind, really.”

“You don’t mind?” John repeated, sounding maybe a little hopeful, which made something twist in Rodney’s chest. And okay, this situation still sucked, but John had obviously been worrying about this and Rodney suddenly found he really wanted to take the weight off John’s mind.

“No. Well, I might not be entirely comfortable with it at the start. I mean, it might be a bit weird for me, or – well - very weird for me, actually.” Sheppard’s shutters had come down, blankness replacing whatever emotion had been there before. There was something off about the response, a doubt growing at the back of Rodney’s mind. His mouth ran on. “And, I’d, uh, appreciate it if you didn’t rub it in my face - ” John actually flinched, drawing a breath. “In fact, maybe we should stay out of each other’s way for a bit? Not forever, just for a while? I’m sure I’ll get used to it eventually,” Rodney finished, now thoroughly confused by the forbidding look on John’s face.

“Not a problem, McKay,” John said coldly, and started clambering to his feet.

“What – where are you going?” Rodney asked, helplessly. He was trying to be mature and grown up about this, and John was being an unpredictable asshole.

“Somewhere else,” John said tightly. 

“I didn’t mean now!” Rodney called after him helplessly as John stalked away.

A sigh made him look around, and he found Teyla and Ronon standing behind him, apparently having witnessed the tail end of the confusing scene.

“Rodney,” Teyla said, exasperated.

“Way to go, McKay,” Ronon said.

“What?” Rodney demanded, at a loss, staring at John’s rapidly retreating back. “What did I do?” 

Teyla and Ronon glanced at each other.

“Ronon,” Teyla said warningly, but Ronon shrugged heavy shoulders.

“He’s not interested in Keller, McKay,” Ronon said pointedly and Teyla thwapped him.

“But – then why – “ Rodney started, at a loss, trailing off at Ronon’s raised eyebrow and Teyla’s pointed look under her eyelashes.

The idea slammed into him full force and his mouth dropped open. That meant that John was interested in _him_. Him, not Jennifer. 

His brain replayed the conversation, “Oh my God! Now he thinks – “he started and Ronon shifted, folding his arms. Teyla rolled her eyes. “Oh my god!” Rodney said again.

“Maybe you should go and find Colonel Sheppard?” Teyla suggested pointedly.

“Right,” he said and took off at a run.

John had always been a lanky bastard, he didn’t even need to run to leave Rodney behind. They were almost back to the central spire when Rodney caught up, panting and sweating.

“Sheppard!”

John’s shoulders hunched slightly but he didn’t stop.

“John, wait,” Rodney tried and that at least got a response. Sheppard slowed a little, enough that Rodney could draw level if he jogged.

“What is it, McKay?” Oh crap, it was the growl. Rodney was so screwed.

“I need to talk to you,” he said. 

“You’ve said enough, Rodney,” John said, stepping into the transporter.

Rodney crowded in with him, ignoring John’s glare. “Please?” he asked, when they rematerialized on the residential level. “Please, John?” 

John opened his mouth to speak then apparently changed his mind and sighed instead.

“Okay. Not here.”

They walked through the halls in silence, Rodney trotting to keep up with Sheppard’s longer stride. 

“Well?” John demanded, once the door to Sheppard’s quarters had closed behind them.

“I have had it pointed out to me that I may have made a mistake.”

John just raised an eyebrow.

“I thought you were interested in Jennifer. I was trying to say that I wouldn’t get in your way,” Rodney said unhappily. “You have to believe me, I never meant it to sound – the way it sounded.”

John’s arms remained folded across his chest but he relaxed slightly.

“I’m not interested in Keller,” he said.

“I know that now,” Rodney told him. 

An idea was growing in the back of his mind. He was overwhelmingly relieved that he won’t have to stand by and see John woo Jennifer, but there was bound to be other women, and the thought made Rodney’s stomach sink. Maybe – maybe this hadn’t been about Jennifer at all. 

“Actually, I think I’m pretty happy about this,” he said. 

John deflated, arms falling to his side. “Great, good for you,” he said, sounding tired.

It was all falling into place in Rodney’s mind: click, click, click. Rodney had been jealous when he’d thought John wanted Jennifer. He wanted Sheppard. And, best of all, John apparently wanted him too. 

“No, really, John. I’m sorry I got it wrong before.”

“You’ve got nothing to apologise for, Rodney,” he said.

“I do, I really do. So much to apologise for, I can’t believe it’s taken me this long - “ Rodney said, warming to the idea now.

“What are you talking about?” John asked and Rodney stepped forward, into John’s space. John’s pupils blew and Rodney felt a thrill down his spine. “Rodney,” John said, probably aiming for a protest but his voice broke on Rodney’s name.

Triumph was making him heady. Their first kiss was sweet, almost chaste. And then John made a sound like he’d been shot, hands curling roughly around Rodney’s biceps as John took control of the kiss, deepening it, all desperation and heat. And then, John pulled away, holding Rodney at arm’s length. He looked a little dazed and far too serious given the extremely hot kiss they’d just been sharing.

“Rodney, you want to try explaining what’s going on here? Because ten minutes ago you were telling me it was okay if I was interested in your ex-girlfriend,” John said, voice gravelly.

“I totally, totally lied,” Rodney said, joyfully. “I hated the idea of you and Jennifer together, and not because of Jennifer. Admittedly, it took me a few minutes to put together what that meant.”

“A few minutes?” John asked quietly. “Hell of a U-turn, Rodney.”

“Hello, genius here!” Rodney said, but John was still looking apprehensive. “Look, I didn’t know, okay? And then I did, and I – I really want this, John. I think I always have.”

“Good enough for me,” John breathed and _God, yes,_ then they were kissing again.

-*-*

And they lived happily ever after.

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear god, I suck at endings and I really apologise for that. 
> 
> I don't know what to say about this story. It's kind of... silly? All I know is I set out to write a story about John's obvious jealousy issues in season 5, and this is what turned up. 
> 
> Concrit welcomed, as usual.


End file.
